How do you “discover” you are Poly?

I am almost back from my trip to the Caribbean and have had about a month to think about my relationship with O and my stance on it at this moment.

A few dynamics have changed – I met another guy, J, who I can say I was genuinly taken aback by. He was friendly, open, and passionate. All traits that I find incredibly attractive. I know he likes me too.

After O and I began opening our relationship, he made out with a couple of women within a few days of each other. I think he was excited about the possibility, and jumped right in, so to speak.

I have had a mix of emotions centered around this, mostly comprised of jealousy and envy.

1) I felt a twinge of jealousy about it, but really it did not last for long – only a few minutes really.

2) I am still envious. I want that too! I want to experience making out with another hot guy, if this is the format of our relationship. I want to take advantage of it, god dammit.

However, I have not… It is starting to bother me a bit. I never before have had any problem finding people to have fun with. I am not sure what it is that is contributing to this now. I have a feeling it is just that O is around. It is like I am guarded from other men. Most of the time I am out, I am with him. So, if I wish to make this happen, I need to spend some time out on my own or only with girlfriends.

I also have high standards… For the makeout session, I already have a kind and giving boyfriend, so I just want to find hotties.  Hotties, that are not, only 20 years old. This is difficult in a small college town.

I question, however, the motivation for this. Is it wrong if I just want this so that O can empathize with how I feel?I am open to trying new things…

How do you “discover” that you are Poly, when you never considered it before?!